


Merry Christmas, Doctor

by stxrkgazing



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Christmas fic, F/F, Hurt No Comfort, Italian!tony, M/M, Merry Christmas, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Survivor Guilt, What else did I miss, ghost!tony, is it?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:21:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21905887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stxrkgazing/pseuds/stxrkgazing
Summary: Stephen found a box next to his bed on Christmas morning, with a memo next to it.Morning. Are you up for your Christmas adventure, Wizard?It led him to a small village in Italy, and there, perhaps, he would find his Christmas gift.
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark (mentioned), Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange (implied)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 46





	Merry Christmas, Doctor

**Author's Note:**

> I had this prompt while I was listening to Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence by Ryuichi Sakamoto for studying. Also, this is unbetaed, and I was writing this at 3 in the morning and haven't checked it again because I'm too tired but I know tomorrow until Christmas I will be busy so. . . this is it.

**Merry Christmas, Doctor**

― _How many do we win?_

_One._

― _Why did you do that?_

_Tony, there was no other way._

― _Is this it? The reality where everyone survives?_

_If I tell you, it won’t happen._

― _And I. . . am Iron Ma_ ―

* * *

Another nightmare. Well, to be precise, a dream about what he had been through ever since the Mad Titan came. Taking a deep breath, Stephen forced himself to sit up and at that moment he noticed that The Cloak of Leviathan wasn’t on the bed anymore. Usually the magical relic would stay as a blanket, and wouldn’t get up before Stephen did unless the sorcerer overslept―which rarely happened.

The red fabric instead was hovering next to his bed, before the night table. A small wooden box wrapped in red and gold ribbon caught his attention. Shifting tentatively, he went off of the bed and reached the box, a memo next to it.

_Morning. Are you up for your Christmas adventure, Wizard?_

A thud of his heart, as his breath went a bit quicker. He untied the ribbon, opening the mysterious Christmas gift. There were rustic silver key, another memo, and several pictures of a house.

_In case you still don’t get it, use the key. You’ll be in a small village in Italy by the way._

Stephen cast a glance at the cloak, and they had a staring contest for a while. “Did someone get in?”

The cloak made a gesture of somewhat shrugging, making the sorcerer huffed in confusion. He went to prepare himself, changed the clothes, then going down to the library with the box.

“Morning, Wong.” He greeted his friend, who was reading the book with an apple in his other hand. “Did you put this in my room?”

Wong observed the box that was offered to him, raising his brow. “No. What? That box suddenly appeared next to your bed?”

“I’m afraid yes.” The Doctor replied, eyeing the box in his hands. “Are you sure you’re not playing any Christmas prank on me, Wong?”

The librarian just stared at him, not moving his eyes at all but enough to show his annoyance. "Well, Merry Christmas to you, Stephen, but no. What’s inside of it?”

“A key, memo, and pictures of house. And a challenge, of course. Christmas adventure, the paper said.”

Wong looked at his friend, and then the box, and then his friend again. “Why don’t you find it out? Take the challenge, today is a day off anyway.” 

Stephen looked hesitated, but he was curious at the same time. The memo, the writings, the red and gold ribbon, somehow they reminded him of that man. His styled brown hair, perfect match with his trimmed goatee and big brown eyes. There was a tingling feeling in his chest, side by side with a piercing pain that came along.

“I won’t be long.” He said, sending the other man a thin smile before turning around, leaving.

* * *

Ever since he went back from his visions, looking at the one and only Tony Stark before him, everything had changed. It wasn’t hard for him to find himself falling in love with the genius engineer, he had been fighting with him in those 14.000.605 realities anyway. Not to mention it was the Tony Stark. Sure, the billionaire was hard at the outside, snarky and all, almost looked arrogant, just like him, but once those facades fell down― he was the most generous, kind, beautiful, and sweet person he had ever met.

Ever since he witnessed the genius snapped the gauntlet, and then watching him crumbled between the ruins, surrounded by his family, waiting for his deathbed, everything had never been the same. Guilt, anguish, sorrow, but mostly guilt―all of them had been eating him inside out.

Stephen stood in front of the wooden house, a nice small house in the middle of forest. Everything around him was quiet, just chirps of bird, vague sound of river, and rustling leaves. He wasn’t that deep into the forest, he assumed, as the sunray still could bask the house and its surrounding.

He stepped closer to the house, right when a flow of melody caught his hearing. Piano. Ryuichi Sakamoto, Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence, Furyo―Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence 1983. His shaking hands seemed to shake a bit more, but he forced himself to go further, closing the door. It wasn’t like he couldn’t escape not using the door, so it didn’t really matter.

But if this was something personal, he would like to keep it so.

When he reached the living room, a white grand piano was there, but the keyboard was facing the window, and the cover was opened, blocking the pianist’. He was about to wait until the song finished, but then the other’s voice broke the whole wordless atmosphere.

“Merry Christmas, Stephen.”

The sweet, familiar male voice hit him right away, breaths taken and his heart seemed to leap a beat. He opened his mouth, trying to say something, but nothing came out. Was this a prank? A hallucination? Illusion? Was this a trap? Or another dream?

The song stopped, and as the other man stood up, revealing himself, Stephen felt like crumbling to the ground, heart shattered and flying at the same time. A bead of tears rolled on his cheek, as his blue-greenish eyes were still locked on those brown ones.

“Cat got your tongue, Doc?” Tony grinned. “Or you didn’t expect me to be able to play a piano? At all? This is my mother’s house, by the way. I used to spend my summer break with her here, learning the Italian part of me. This house has a lot of memories, and I think there’s nothing wrong to share it with you.”

“How―” his voice was hoarse, and he needed to clear his throat several times. “How are you still alive?”

A pang of sadness crossed Tony’s face, though he kinda guessed Stephen meant it the other way. “You don’t like me that much, huh?” his lips curled down. He was just playing, teasing, so he didn’t expect for the sorcerer to tense up, choke on his breath as tears dropped more. 

“No, I― sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. I’m just― confused and― I don’t want this to be only my hallucination.” Stephen tried to explain. Did Tony really think he hated him? That he sacrificed him, for the greater good? For the whole universe? Technically yes, that was what he did, but he was out of choice. But still, didn’t give him an excuse that he, once again killed a man, sacrificed Earth’s Best Defender.

“I’m sorry, Tony, there was no―”

“I know.” The brunette cut him off, shifting from where he was standing to the sorcerer. “And I know, it’s not your fault. God, Stephen, one in 14.000.605, we were still lucky that we got one chance.” He smiled, now standing right before the sorcerer.

 _No, we were not. If I could have had more time_ ― _there had to be another way._

But there wasn’t.

He had found this outcome first, this was the first outcome. But he tried to look more, more, more and more until he realized, they were out of time and― he had found a way to win. Just not the way he wanted, not the way the genius deserved, not the way it should be (if he had more time, if―)

“I took you from your family.” Stephen muttered. “I killed you.”

“You didn’t.” Tony stared into the other man firmly, but his voice was calm, soothing. And that broke Stephen’s heart more. How could this man didn’t hate him? He led him to his death he―

“You didn’t kill me, Stephen, it was my choice.” Tony continued. “Or, well, it was fate. Fate killed me, but― you didn’t. You did nothing but contributed to save the universe, Doc.”

Stephen reached out his hand, to hold the engineer’s arm, and it was. . . strange. Tony felt solid but yet, seemed like he wasn’t here.

“I’m a ghost.” Tony stated, grinning.

“I notice.” Stephen tried to return the favor by a genuine smile.

“And I’m here to make sure that you know this is not your fault, and like Pepper said, I can rest now.”

“Right.” He tried not to choke, maintaining his smile.

“Nothing else to say?” Tony raised his brow, his grin turned into the sweetest smile Stephen had ever seen in this timeline.

_I love you._

“You’re a great man, Tony. Always.”

 _I love you, always, will always do_ ―

“Merry Christmas, Stephen.” Tony tip toed, leaning closer, hands cupping his face and the next moment a peck landed on his cheek.

_I love you._

“Merry Christmas, Tony.”

 _I love you, I’ve missed you, I love you_ ―

Tony leaned back, standing firmly on his feet again. The smile hadn’t left his face yet, and Stephen devoured the sight of the man as much as he could while trying to keep his smile on his face.

_I love you._

“Thanks, Doc. I owe you.”

For his beautiful 5 years memories. For giving him a chance to be a father. For giving him a chance to taste his dream, to have a family he had been longing for, to live the best of his life.

_I’m sorry. I’ve missed you. I love you, Tony._

“You’re welcome, Tony.”

With that, Tony disappeared.

And Stephen fell on his knees, again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas, everyone. It's a bit early, I know. And sad. BUT, I'll make a what if version if anyone interested? Anyway, tell me what you think about this fic!;)


End file.
